


Show Me Forgiveness

by Arpia



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Apologies, Feelings, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arpia/pseuds/Arpia
Summary: When apologies lead to new beginnings.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 6
Kudos: 95





	Show Me Forgiveness

The last notes of the ballad he's just finished to sing are still lingering in the air when the door of the tavern swings open.

Jaskier grins and plucks at the strings of his instrument but the smile freezes on his face as soon as he recognizes the newcomer. He would recognize that shock of white hair everywhere. His fingers have spread chamomile oil on those broad shoulders too many times to forget them.

He would once have started singing, just to annoy the Witcher, but considering how they've parted ways, Jaskier doesn't feel much like singing. In fact, he doesn't feel like being here at all.

Geralt's parting words cut deep.

It was, perhaps, not the first time Geralt used his words carelessly. It was not the first time he addressed Jaskier with sharp words. Hell, Geralt has even punched him And Jaskier can swear his stomach has never been quite the same after that infamous punch. It was, however, the first time Jaskier could tell Geralt was serious.

_If fate would give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands._

And isn't it the story of his life? He's the bard, the buffoon everyone listens to when they want to be entertained. He’s also the disposable one, the one nobody needs at the end of the day, after they’ve had their fill of music and laughter.

It's the life he's chosen for himself in exchange for some coin and really, it has never bothered him.

Until Geralt.

What a fool he's been to think that their friendship meant something. What an utter fool he's been to hope it could turn into something else, given time.

All he’s got for his trouble is a proverbial kick in the gut and a few months spent nursing heartache and hangovers.

And how twisted fate is, putting Geralt on his path again, right when he is starting to forget what his voice sounds like.

 _As if you ever could,_ a traitor voice whispers at the back of his mind.

He glances toward the entrance and sees Geralt has spotted him and he's steadily approaching, the crowd of tavern dwellers parting to let him pass.

And suddenly, the tavern feels too small and Jaskier can't breathe and he needs to get the hell out of here, now.

The door at his right has been letting in quite the draft all evening but now Jaskier counts his blessings because of it.

He blindly grabs his instrument and heads toward the fortunate exit.

"Jaskier."

That voice. That deep, gravelly voice Jaskier hasn't heard in months but he'll be damned if he's forgotten it.

It makes him freeze with his fingers tightly curled around the doorknob but the echo of harsh words makes him grip the knob tighter and yank the door open.

He walks out, closes the door behind his back, and allows himself a few seconds to breathe in the cool night air.

The stables are close, Jaskier could have guessed it from the smell of manure if it weren't for the fact that he knows this wretched tavern like the back of his hand.

He heads that way, intent on hiding.

Jaskier realizes his mistake when the sight of Roach makes him feel the prickle of tears behind his eyelids, sudden and unexpected.

He knows he should head back out and run as fast as his legs will allow him but he's drawn to the animal instead.

"Hey, girl." He reaches out and pets her familiar muzzle, smiling when she doesn't shy away. "Yes, yes, I missed you too."

"Jaskier."

Geralt's voice makes him jump. Roach lets out a whine at the suddenness of the movement and Jaskier starts to stroke her long neck.

"Sorry, girl," he says, ignoring Geralt. “I’m sorry.”

"You're good with her.” The bit out, reluctant compliment would have sent Jaskier over the moon a few months ago. It punches him in the gut now. It sets his teeth on edge. “She likes you."

"Good to know someone does," he says, the words slipping past his lips on their own accord. His own voice sounds so clipped and strained he barely recognizes it.

"That's not fair."

"Fair?" Jaskier laughs, bitter and dry. "Oh, you're one to talk about fair."

"Jaskier, I-"

"Don't," Jaskier interrupts.

"Just-" there is an edge in Geralt's voice, something Jaskier can't quite pinpoint. "Just hear me out."

And Jaskier has imagined this moment several times. He's thought about it in the dark of countless rooms, after entertaining countless people in countless taverns. He's thought about it at night, drunk on mead and despair, lying besides yet another body in his useless quest for effimere warmth.

"Whatever it is," he finds himself saying instead as pride takes hold of him. "I don't want to hear it."

"Please."

The word slices through Jaskier's pride like a warm knife through fresh butter. The shock of hearing Geralt--proud, hard Geralt-- beg is enough to render him speechless.

Words are all Jaskier has been able to rely upon for his entire life. They've always been plentiful, sometimes enough to put him in trouble, certainly enough to build a life around them.

Yet, they're failing him now.

"Talk.'' Is all he manages to bite out, the single word grating against his throat on its way out.

The irony that they are in this predicament because of Geralt's words doesn't escape him.

"I shouldn't have said those things," Geralt says, voice more gravelly than usual, cutting through Jaskier's train of thoughts

The words seem to echo in the silence that follows.

Jaskier wonders how he could even have thought Geralt was going to apologize. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts, trying to keep the bitter disappointment out of his expression.

"Yes, you shouldn't have," is all he says, before turning on his heels and heading toward the fatiscent door of the stable.

"Jaskier." Geralt's voice is sharp enough to make him pause in his tracks but not enough to make him stop altogether. "I'm sorry."

Now, the unexpected apology is enough to make Jaskier's steps falter. "For?" He murmurs, aware he's bound to push Geralt's limits.

But Geralt surprises him once again. "The things I said," he rasps out. "I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

 _But you did_ , Jaskier wants to scream. _You fucking did_.

“And yet,” he murmurs instead, turning slightly to face Geralt.

Geralt swallows and nods. To an external observer, his face would look devoid of any emotion but Jaskier has learned to read him in the long months spent travelling together and the faint curve of his lips speaks of pain and loneliness.

"I didn't mean it."

Jaskier laughs, short and bitter. "Allow me to disagree. You wanted me gone, Geralt."

"I did," Geralt's admits and the two words slice through Jaskier's gut like a knife. "The water lords help me, I did. I needed some time alone." He pauses, hesitates. "But you didn't deserve what I said."

"Damn right I didn't," Jaskier answers, bitterness making his voice rougher than usual. "I was just your scapegoat.''

Geralt nods, not even trying to deny it. "I'm sorry."

"So am I," Jaskier says and as much as he's thought about hearing those words, they don't bring any kind of joy, only a faint ache below his ribcage.

Because as much as he'd love to tell Geralt he's forgiven, he also knows there's no going back to how things were. Not when all he wishes for is to swallow Geralt's apology with the press of his lips.

He sends a weak smile Geralt's way and starts to turn around again. "See you around."

He stops on his tracks as fingers close around his wrist, warm and steady.

"Wait."

The urgency in Geralt's voice keeps Jaskier pinned in place but it's the touch that steals his breath away and forces him to close his eyes briefly.

"What do you want from me, Geralt?" He tries to go for nonchalant but his vocal chords betray him and his voice trembles.

Geralt's grip tightens around his wrist, then loosens. It's loose enough Jaskier could easily wrench his hand away but Jaskier feels Geralt's fingers burn like licks of fire over his skin.

Geralt doesn't need words to answer the question. He tugs at Jaskier's arm and Jaskier is helpless but to turn and face him and what he reads on Geralt's usually so carefully controlled face tugs and pulls and tears at the tight ball that’s taken residence in the pit of Jaskier’s stomach.

 _"Jaskier_ ," Geralt says and the name sounds like a plea thumbling off his lips.

Jaskier has no idea who closes the distance first but what he knows is that time seems to slow down, in direct contrast with all of Jaskier's world that's spinning so fast he feels dizzy.

Geralt tastes like cheap mead but he also tastes like fire and Jaskier wants to get drunk on it, he wants to let the flames burn him until all that’s left of him it’s ashes.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Geralt murmurs as he pulls back and his voice sounds rougher than usual. It does things to Jaskier. “You’re a hard man to find.”

“How very impolite of me,” Jaskier whispers back, closing his eyes briefly. He presses one hand against Geralt’s chest, not quite suppressing a little smile as the slow and faint heartbeat picks up some speed against his palm.

Geralt lifts a hand and threads it through the hair on the back of Jaskier’s neck, pulling him close again.

Jaskier does smile this time. He’s not really sure what he’s getting into and he’s aware a kiss isn’t enough to make up for the heartache of the past few months.

Despite what people may think, he’s no fool. He’s well aware the road is bound to be bumpy. He’s well aware they’ll have to talk, eventually, because things left unsaid have the habit of festering.

 _Tomorrow_ , he thinks.

For now he’s in no position to do anything but trust his instincts and follow his heart and everything else be damned.

For now, Jaskier leans closer and goes for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> It's the first time I write for this fandom and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous about it.  
> I hope this works and I haven't butchered the characters too much! ^_^


End file.
